Rare Bear

I don’t remember exactly when I first had the pleasure of meeting Winnie the Pooh but I do remember when he became more than just a character in a children’s book. Sometime after the birth of our first child, Pooh became a member of the family and his adventures became favorite bed time reading stories. In fact, Pooh was so popular at various times throughout our family’s history that it was completely unnecessary to wait until evening to enjoy the camaraderie of Piglet, Owl, Rabbit, Eeyore, Tigger, Kanga, Roo and, of course, Christopher Robin: we could tell stories of Pooh bear at any hour of the day.

I’ll never forget reading lines from one of Christopher Robin’s poems as almost a family right of passage when a child’s age would pass beyond that mystical time when each year could be represented by the fingers on a single hand:

Now we are six,
And we’re better than ever.
I think we’ll stay six,
For ever and ever.

Although all of our children are now well past that enchanting age of six, the memories of those days imagining the Hundred Acre woods were just outside our door are so precious that they dwarf the $26,000 being charged by a rare book dealer for the honor of owning a set of original first editions of the Winnie the Pooh books in excellent condition, encased in dust jackets, whose advertisement appeared on the back page of the New York Times Sunday Review of Books just last week. I would never trade.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

@ 2007 Joseph Ricciardi Jr

(old) Man to (young) Man

WARNING - the following unfiltered words come from the heart of a male and have not been processed with any artificial coloring or sweeteners. Do not continue reading this if you are easily offended by the truth or the use of the word “crap”. After reading, if you are left with a bitter taste in your mouth, it might be good to lay off the sugar coated identities that the American mainstream media has been shoving down your throat for years, bite your lip and get a grip. God has the answer to every possible question you could ask except one: “Are you willing to pay the price to know the Truth and thereby be set free?”

Young friend, the sooner you decide to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look around at the greatness of the opportunities you have been given, the faster you will progress in every aspect of life including relationships with the opposite sex.

You are what you eat and if you keep preparing and serving your heart crap about yourself, no one's going to go out with you, except some other poor soul who’s been slurping up the same diet. Believe me no matter what pseudo-romantic tripe Hollywood peddles as reality, two saps don’t make one awesome couple. The world will just keep spinning around the two of you, slowly and steadily sucking your youth, along with your time, talents and potential down the drain. It’s a tough road, my friend but you might be surprised how many of us still take it despite all the warning signs we put up at the entrance year after year for young travelers like yourself. I guess that’s why they say love is blind …and sometimes I think illiterate too.

Humility is very cool but timidity sucks and that’s more what I get from you when I hear you speak about yourself and read what you write. It sounds a bit like humility but it’s hollow. If you want one of these young ladies you know to get interested in you, then don't drop their names in a blog and talk about them. That's weak and they'll avoid you if for no other holier reason than to not look dumb to their girlfriends. Women at any age, definitely tend to feel sorry for whipped puppies and cute little kittens but the bright ones at any age, will still choose to go out with men. So get it together and get off the sympathy train before you decide to take a trip down lover’s lane.

If you want something, you have to go after it. Talk to the young lady herself (not to one of her ‘friends’) and tell her how you feel. Don’t make it up or embellish it just tell the truth. The worst thing she can do is laugh at you. However, my experience is that if you’re honest, most of the time that’s not going to happen. In fact, chances are she’ll be too stunned to laugh not having met that many authentic males in her life. Of course there are the ones out there that are still immature and you might run across one of those but at least then you’ll know what you’re dealing with. So either way you can’t really lose. And best of all, it puts you back in the driver’s seat. Instead of life taking you for a joy ride of heartbreak and disappointment, you can decide for yourself where to go, when to leave and how fast to travel.

Here's something to consider. You're really awesome when it comes to relationships and people. You're funny, kind, outgoing, brave, hip and intelligent. For some reason, right now you don’t see all that about yourself. Around women you’re kind of acting like a jellyfish, hanging around on the surface without any backbone. I’m not suggesting you become one of these immature young boys who act tough in order to hide the insecurities they’re carrying within. You passed that stage in 7th grade. But seriously who dropped you in the toilet man. You need to wake up and piss on the roses and BE someone that young ladies can't stand NOT to be with. You don't need a nurse to fix your wounded soul. Let God do that work. A woman can't do it anyway even if she thinks she can and even if you allow her to try to take the place of God in your life. In my experience, too many women attempt to be a man’s savior and consequently a large number of these get burned in their efforts by men who refuse to grow up. You are NOT one of those men. You never have been, so why are you pretending to be that now?

And when it comes to love, stop trying so hard. Love has a way of coming around more often when you're not shining a thousand watt flashlight in its eyes…Who’s putting pressure on you to get a relationship with a young woman by the end of this weekend or your life might be over? Pay attention to the little things around you every day. For instance, there might be some little thing right around you even now who "likes" you and would maybe even like you more if you paid some attention to her but you're not "seeing" what’s right in front of your eyes because you're too busy focusing on what you don't have. Who knows, her heart might be lonely and hurting sometimes just like yours is now and you might end up making a friend or two.

Finally, while you’re waiting for that incredible one woman who will rock your world and change the course of history, don’t forget to be on alert for the poor silly girls who have been fooled into believing that makeup, eyeliner, neck lines and skirt lengths somehow make up for personality, character, wisdom and intelligence. Pity them, educate them, help them but for God’s sake don’t fall in love with them; at least not until they’ve made the decision to grow up and become women. You might think you can change them but real change comes from the inside out and you might just be offering yourself up as a punching bag or sparring partner until they’re really ready to go the distance in the big dance. Unless you’ve got an unction from the holy spirit junction, I’d avoid that trap like the clap and find yourself a real woman.

Have an awesome day young man. I hope you change the world…for good.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31: 10-12

This is an open letter to any young American man struggling to have a real relationship with a young woman in his post-modern, absurdly-sensitive, digitally-enhanced world. It is written from the biased and limited perspective of an older American man whose God has shown him much mercy and grace throughout his journey thus far. Take it with a grain of salt.

@ 2007 Joseph Ricciardi Jr